She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
