i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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