I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You need Xanax blowdarts
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
