Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize