I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
