My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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