its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
