Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
