I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
jump out the window naked night went bad
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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