I think my vagina is haunted
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
