How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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