Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
