I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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