It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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