You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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