Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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