You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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