Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
