i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Your penis caused this!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
