Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woke up backwards on a recliner
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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