problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
