I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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