If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
