i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
