Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
