On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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