Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
