So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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