I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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