As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
50% drunk capacity currently
Just pee around me
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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