I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
