Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
