Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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