it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize