Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
