I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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