i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
