You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
