so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize