is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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