Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I need moral support for this bender
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
