oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
