I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
