Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
