I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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