Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
