I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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