Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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