I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
