Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
