Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
