Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize