He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I would fuck him just for his dog
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
