I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
