would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
