I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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