Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
