Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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