Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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