You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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