Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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