That's intense
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
