You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
