that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize